Don't fake the funk

I seek motivation in those around me. It's no coincidence that I have this streak in my hair (actually, it is pure coincidence): like Rogue in XMen, I suck out the energy from those around me. That's not entirely true. I like to think that I give back at least a little. I mean, c'mon, Vaughn is still completely helpless without me. That counts for something.

I read Rebecca's blog today and she's funny. Mark started a blog with what little spare time he has. Rebecca thinks she's boring, but at least she's redoing her house. Today I bought picture frames and sour cream and baby socks and Dentyl, some shmancy new thing like Listerine but more expensive than a tank of gas. That's about all I have to show for my day.

I keep thinking I have to somehow relate my daily blogs to my title, and I need to remember that Gwyneth Paltrow is neither all that attractive nor all that interesting. She's just rich, well-connected and ... well, rich. I do wonder what she had for lunch today, what she eats in this godforsaken country. Actually I'm sure parts of Britain are beautiful, and I'm sure Scotland is just magical and spectacular, but I can't imagine the Scots have yummy food, either. The butcher's shop sign said this the other day: "Burn's Night! Don't forget your Haggis!" Is this a joke? If I hadn't been amused by So I Married An Axe Murderer, I think I would be disgusted.

Dinner: pork chops with garlic, sour cream, lemon juice, olive oil and tons of garlic salt; corn and pilau rice for Mark; lentils for me.

What I want: sweet cornbread with tons of butter, cheese garlic grits casserole, queso, carrot cake and two bacon cheeseburgers.