Betrayed ... and ignorant

I feel like I've been told that I'm giving birth to a boy, only to have a baby girl (or vice versa). Like, still cool that I had a baby no matter what, but man, I was really counting on that pink decor working out ... among other things.

It's also sort of like your dog giving birth to kittens. They're still cute and cuddly, but not what you were expecting, and you might just want to give them back. You're awed and appalled and still a little giddy, but reallly, just pissed off.

I will compare last night's concert experience to something more mainstream, for those who cannot understand what Neko Case means to me ... It would be like showing up to a U2 concert but the Edge isn't there. It's still U2; they're still gonna kick ass; it might even be better than you'd ever dreamed. But the Edge wasn't there and so you feel gypped, like it could have been -- even better.

So last night's New Pornographers' show in London did not feature Neko Case, but someone who I think is A.C. Newman's niece. Or something. Either way, she was not as sexy as Neko Case (she played the keyboard with her nose at one point), her voice was nothing compared to Neko's, and if anything, she was an uberbitch who had to stop the show three times when another band member wasn't playing up to her liking.

I almost left the show. I had been building up to Neko Case for weeks. I am in love with her, in an almost non-platonic way. (As an aside, I had to leave the only show of hers I've ever seen many months ago because I had just given birth and was TIRED by 10pm.) When you never get to really have a night out without your child and you actually fork up £30 for a babysitter, you expect Neko Case.

The only redeeming factor about all this is that I found out Neko is playing next week at Shepherds Bush and I bought a ticket as soon as I walked in the door at 12am. So there.

Is this like if you tried to see Radiohead without Phil Selway? Yes, I do think it is. And they cancelled their show in Amsterdam for that very reason when Mr Selway's mother passed away.

I hold A.C. Newman partly responsible for agreeing to play without his better half, but what's most importantly (please, someone get that Kanye reference), I hold myself responsible for not knowing that Neko Case wasn't even on the last NP album. Duh.