Can we talk about LeAnn Rimes for a second?

And I don't mean the way she spells her name. Because apparently I spell my name unusually as well. But I mean why anybody really cares about her. She is darn cute. I'll give her that. And she can sing. But I can't name a single song she sings, so I am beyond understanding why people.com and other celebrity web sites are reporting on her. Who are the huge LeAnn Rimes fans out there who just can't get enough of her pictures? Her back-up dancer (there are back-up dancers in country music?) husband? Where are they hiding out? Niagara Falls, Canada? Because this is where she just cancelled one of her shows, or so I'm told by the media. Who are the Canadians in the world who are obsessed with LeAnn Rimes? Or is that exactly the point: to cancel a show no one cares about? I'm aware that Shania Twain is Canadian. And Jewel might as well be. And Garth Brooks had some enormous show once in Toronto that was like the best ever. And really, I'm not trying to diss Ms Rimes. Like I said, she is cute and dresses well and maybe I'd really like her if I met her. But, like we said in fifth grade before "shit" pervaded our vernacular, who gives a care?

My only thought is that she cares. More than anyone. And she let out this huge press release so that everyone would know she was having surgery on infected tissue in her leg. (What does that mean, by the way? Sounds awfully sketchy, like flesh-eating bacteria caught in San Angelo.) And hence I am led to the saying, "Any pub is good pub." Which I don't really believe but I have no choice but to roll with it here. I was thinking the same thing about Christie Brinkley. She's 52 and used to do Prell commercials. (Nevermind my sister's sixth grade beauty school teacher told her never to put anything green on her hair.) Anyway, she's getting divorced for the fourth time. Why would you want to tell the world this? Let people find out on their own through the public records office. Those people out there who are rabid, 52-year-old-loving Christie Brinkley fans. The same can be said of Brigette Nielsen. I can't even remember anything she was in, except for The Surreal Life, a part of which I managed to catch once and indeed, I saw the blooming friendship that was Ms Nielsen and Flava Flav. So be it. But to announce that she got married (again) to some Italian bozo? Who gives a care?

My next thought is of all the washed-up celebs who are just looking to be relevant. Thus the availability of The Surreal Life. Doesn't mean I have to enjoy it. But marveling at the thought of people all over the world who might be obsessed with, say, Gilbert Godfried or something, or David Hasslehoff (and don't we know they exist, ugh), takes up many hours of my day.

But who gives a care?