Having a toddler in public is so awesome

Vaughn did the following embarrassing things today, in chronological order:

A. As I was perusing the not-very-cute baby cutlery at the drug store, I heard Vaughn on the other side of the aisle saying, "water." I knew this couldn't be good. Sure enough, as I rounded the corner I saw her holding a bottle of not-full baby oil and her shirt was soaked, as well as her shoes and hands. Greasy. It wouldn't have been so bad -- I thought I had escaped undetected -- except that as we were fleeing the scene, a man with a mop was approaching us, like he'd seen it yesterday and was just waiting for us to get out of his way. Geez.

2. She pressed the (excruciatingly loud) alarm button, which proceded to verbally chastise us, on the lift at the TK Maxx, thus frightening some of the customers and most of the employees at said shop.

D. After I allowed the letting agent and two young women who were potential letters into the flat, I noticed that Vaughn was playing on the floor with a set of handcuffs she'd removed from our bedside table. Classy.

7. While I was contemplating which wholewheat bread to get for her "dinner" whilst at the Sainsbury's, she apparently picked up a sesame bagel and started eating it before I realized what she was doing. At least I paid for that one. (Are you kidding? If you don't put a seal on your baby oil, you're just asking for kids to pour it out on the floor.)

P. As a final insult to the grocery establishment, Vaughn ripped off some large and defining sticky number on a checkout counter as we were waiting for our groceries to make their way down the adaject belt. She even managed to do it without taking off the adhesive so there was a faint white ghost of the sticker left in its place. Unfixable.

Vaughn is priceless. Today I decided she is my best friend and if she needs a partner in crime, I'm her man. Even if it's a bit (OK, a lot) embarrassing.