Have I mentioned the pee pitcher?

So first it's important to understand how bad of a sleeper I am. I am the worst I know, by far. I can count on one hand the number of times in my life I remember sleeping through the night. I have made such enormous debacles about quiet sleeping environments to boyfriends' families, my husband's family and friends that it's nothing short of entirely embarrassing. When I'm not pregnant, I get up to pee at least once in the night. It also takes me on average about 45 minutes to fall asleep and if I am unfortunate enough to wake up after 5am, it's unlikely that I will go back to sleep, even if I didn't go to sleep until 4. Yeah. It blows.

That said, when you're pregnant you pee even more and you get up even more in the night to try to get it out. I have gotten up as many as six times but I'd say I am at about 3 times a night right now. But here's the clencher: we don't have a bathroom upstairs, where all the bedrooms are. Welcome to 1896, when this house was built, in contrast to the modern bathroom movement in England, which I swear was sometime in the 1960s. That's really not an exaggeration. Yes, some houses are modern enough to have bathrooms fitted on the upper floors, but not this one. And I am not the only person on my street with this issue.

So ... horrible night sleeping + no bathroom upstairs = I pee in a (former) lemonade pitcher at night, which I keep next to my bed. Yes, this is gross, but yes, I also believe this is the best remedy to the situation. Mark is continually dumbfounded in the morning that I have peed a quart in the night and sometimes he remarks on the color. One of the grossest things about this situation is that I have to take the pitcher downstairs every morning to empty it, as of course there are no water receptacles upstairs. I have yet to spill the pitcher but I must emphasize the word yet.

This is my life. I am homesick.