OCD = over (my) compulsion dude

OK, so whereas that could never be entirely true, I am really just sick of being such a control freak and so OCD. It occurred to me while jogging last night that what I really wanted to be doing was eating peanut butter. Not a new revelation; this happens pretty often actually. The real clincher though was that I started to think, "Why am I doing this then? Why do I continue to torture myself while my knees, hips and legs hurt and I still want to be eating peanut butter instead?"

But oh no -- it didn't stop there. I started wondering why I have to have Vaughn cleaning up her toys by 7:40pm, in her room by 7:50pm and in bed by 8:00pm. I mean, does it really matter if I'm five minutes late on any of this? And would the world fall apart if I intentionally ate a piece of bread? To answer both: don't think so. So of course then came the cascade-like realization that there are so many things I get really worked up about but don't need to. Realizing one at a time throughout the week is nothing like realizing them all in the span of about three minutes.

So I stopped jogging. And as I walked the short way home, I thought about what it was I could actually do to be less OCD. I'd love to just be spontaneous and ... oh, I don't know, wash the light blues and greens on Monday instead of Sunday, but that might be pushing it! I'll work on that. I think for now I'll keep Vaughn up until she just can't take it anymore (or I can't) and maybe have a Diet Coke with dinner!

Side note: I wasn't like this (as much) before I had a child. When I worked for that motivational speaker guy, he said that stay-at-home moms create problems when there are none in order to keep their personal lives on track with what their professional ones could have been. I couldn't agree more. And since I don't want to go back to work now, I think I'll just try to make my problems at home more interesting. Like, "How can I possibly consume all this brown sugar before we move in 3 weeks?"

I like that.

Having a toddler in public is so awesome

Vaughn did the following embarrassing things today, in chronological order:

A. As I was perusing the not-very-cute baby cutlery at the drug store, I heard Vaughn on the other side of the aisle saying, "water." I knew this couldn't be good. Sure enough, as I rounded the corner I saw her holding a bottle of not-full baby oil and her shirt was soaked, as well as her shoes and hands. Greasy. It wouldn't have been so bad -- I thought I had escaped undetected -- except that as we were fleeing the scene, a man with a mop was approaching us, like he'd seen it yesterday and was just waiting for us to get out of his way. Geez.

2. She pressed the (excruciatingly loud) alarm button, which proceded to verbally chastise us, on the lift at the TK Maxx, thus frightening some of the customers and most of the employees at said shop.

D. After I allowed the letting agent and two young women who were potential letters into the flat, I noticed that Vaughn was playing on the floor with a set of handcuffs she'd removed from our bedside table. Classy.

7. While I was contemplating which wholewheat bread to get for her "dinner" whilst at the Sainsbury's, she apparently picked up a sesame bagel and started eating it before I realized what she was doing. At least I paid for that one. (Are you kidding? If you don't put a seal on your baby oil, you're just asking for kids to pour it out on the floor.)

P. As a final insult to the grocery establishment, Vaughn ripped off some large and defining sticky number on a checkout counter as we were waiting for our groceries to make their way down the adaject belt. She even managed to do it without taking off the adhesive so there was a faint white ghost of the sticker left in its place. Unfixable.

Vaughn is priceless. Today I decided she is my best friend and if she needs a partner in crime, I'm her man. Even if it's a bit (OK, a lot) embarrassing.

The doldrums (random post)

What book was it that had the Doldrums in it? Something I was forced to read for school in like 3rd grade ... A Wrinkle in Time. That's it. I think. Anyway that is definitely what I'm going through right now, unless it's an initial stage of depression, which stages come and go so frequently in my life I cannot discern them from one another.

I don't seem to be motivated to do anything. Everything seems pointless. I'm turning into a fatalist. Why bother exercising? The calories I need to jog are actually making me fatter. Why bother cleaning? We're moving out in three weeks and I haven't washed the bathroom floors since we moved in here anyway, so why start now? Why bother disciplining Vaughn? It's harder on me than to just let her have her way. In that case, why bother showering? Luckily, I can draw the line there. I need to shower. Being clean is good. Well that's reassuring: as long as part of my OCD is still surfacing, I must not be a complete POS.

Maybe it's just that Mark is rubbing off on me. How he can get out of bed, day after day, and not make it, and not open the blinds before he turns on the lights unnecessarily, and leave tupperware in his briefcase for a week at a time, and spread his newly-shaved whiskers all over the entire bathroom ... these things are a mystery to me. (Side note: I think I must have done something right/wrong because he's made the bed all weekend. Should I be suspicious?) His goal in life is to be as inert as possible. Reading that makes me laugh OL.

Basically I just wanted to post but I have nothing to say. But Junebug was worth seeing, in case anyone cares. Cheers to North Carolina weirdos!

Think I'll go eat some cheese.

Wanton picture posting

(I just felt like it. It was time.)

These are my two favorite pictures from Copenhagen.

































More photos at www.vaughnvandegrift.com/copenhagen.html.

I'm not kidding

My mom dragged me around shopping in Copenhagen, and I knew I'd hit rock bottom when we were on the 4th floor of a department store scouring the Hans Christian Andersen shop. Please God, deliver me from hell.

Airport anarchy

This is how it went down for us on our recent trip to Prague, in chronological order:

+ We leave for Prague at noon on Wednesday, 09 August
+ That night, arrests are made in London
+ Thursday, 10 August afternoon, we see on CNN World News that London airports are closed
+ We panic, just a little
+ We watch CNN all day pretty much, checking for updates on the Blackberry when out of the apartment
+ Friday, 11 August, we call the Prague airport and we're told that security will be the same as usual leaving Prague; it's only flights leaving the UK that have restrictions on handbags
+ Morning of Saturday, 12 August, we arrive at Prague airport very early, just in case
+ We are told by the EasyJet lady that we cannot bring liquids on the plane except for some water for the baby, which we will have to taste upon boarding the plane, and that we must pack all make-up, gels, electrical equipment, including watches, and baby formula in our checked luggage; supposedly everything else is fine; our carry-on bags will be searched a second time as we board the plane
+ We wait forever for our plane to make it to the gate
+ We wait forever to go through initial security at the gate, as getting into the terminal required only a passport check
+ We arrive upon a panic of people checking their carry-ons, as suddenly the same lady who checked us in at the counter is telling everyone they can't bring any bags onto the plane
+ In the midst of this, the pilot of our plane comes out and tells everyone to stop freaking out, that small baby bags are OK and we'll just need to taste any liquids reserved for baby
+ I check my second baby bag, full of toys and food, because I feel guilty that I've got even one
+ I board the plane without any additional search and am carrying a baby bottle full of water in one hand, which no one asks me to taste
+ We fly home
+ We wait for our luggage for about a century but get everything and then take the two trains and a bus to get home

Sheesh. Talk about conflicting information.

A fresh perspective on American politics

I recently asked a 34-year-old East German woman (I emphasize East German because she was forced to learn Russian from age 5 and was 16 when the wall fell) if the Germans were happy with the outcome of their most recent election, considering there was such an uproar regarding the final count, much like the Bush-Gore election in 2000. Her response, which is not the focus of my point but is nonetheless interesting, is that the German people are so fed up with the government at this point that they just don't even care. That's sad. Though I identify with the sentiment.

Here is my driving point: in the course of this discussion she remarked how few Germans vote, somewhere around 65%. And I said, "Wow, that's way more than Americans. I'm pretty sure that somewhere around 40% of all eligible voters in America actually vote."

And the kicker, her response: "And that counts?"

Day from hell, in chronological order

* Computer crashed yesterday so I have no email, gossip or weather updates (bad start), the sustenance of my wellbeing
* Left my cell phone at home *lightning strikes*
* A mile from home, newly aired stroller tire pops and breaks at grocery store
* Have to fold up stroller and carry it in one arm, literally dragging Vaughn with the other (bus was some relief)
* Vaughn spills water all over the chair from which I spent all day yesterday removing previous water stains
* After two weeks of one neighbor's bathroom being refurbished and banging and crashing during Vaughn's naps for 10 working days straight, another lady on our floor has also decided to get her bathroom refurbished so the same banging and crashing and waking V again today
* Vaughn poos while I'm waiting for the specialist doctor 3 miles (and 3 buses) from home and then won't let me pick her up to take her into the doctor's office
* I get a mole removed and stitched on my back, which stitching I didn't realize was necessary after a mole removal, all the while that
* Vaughn, as a witness, is screaming her head off
* My hip goes out halfway home so that
* I can't go jogging tonight before a 5-day weekend and best of all
* Mark comes home to inform me that I could have just put Vaughn back in the stroller at the grocery store this morning and wheeled her back home, leaning on the back two wheels since only the front wheel was popped.

Bonus though: I watched V for Vendetta, which is one of my favorite movies of late. It is too bad that I had to pause it every 90 seconds in order to avoid the noisy barrage of plane landings which must be adjacent to our flat day after day after day ... but nonetheless -- trying to be positive!

House-hunting sucks

Especially when you're in a foreign country.

Kiss that guilty pleasure, reading Dan Brown's other literary fiasco, Angels and Demons, goodbye. On that note, bid farewell to enjoying anything because you're so freaking caught up in the tedium and freakishness of dealing with real estate agents. Oi.