Top Ten Reasons to move back to the US

10. Velveeta is a foreign substance here
9. UK healthcare is frightening
8. landlords suck worse in the UK than in the states
7. Vaughn might end up saying things like "pass-ta" and "tack-os" and "whilst" soon
6. Americans who stay here too long adopt fake accents. It hurts my feelings.
5. low, steel gray clouds for 6 months at a time = depressing and oppressive
4. where my Halloween at?
3. indoor swimming pools are for "the indoor kids," not my child (or me)
2. my buggy will never be as hip as the neighbors'
1. the Democratic party needs me