A funny thing happened today ...

I dropped V off at school, ran into my neighbo(u)r Sarah, whom I like a lot and who walked me to the end of the block (out of her way), and then saw my other neighbour Pip, who was going for a jog along the Thames, as I was about to cross Richmond Lock to meet some friends for coffee. Nevermind that my friends didn't show up at Starbucks (I was relieved in so many ways), I realized that I have a life here and I will be sad to leave.

Of course then I panicked, wondering if maybe it is in our best interest to stay here. And I don't think that it is. But I started doing the math and it's been ages since I've been in one town this long (20 months) and this is about how long it takes just to feel comfortable in your surroundings. If anything, this realization gives me the confidence to go back to the US and make new friends in a place where most of mine have now left or moved on (believe me, the two instances are not the same).

So in many ways I'm pleased that I'll be sad in four months, or however long this takes, and though it sounds masochistic, really it's just nice for me to know that I am capable of working through this bullshit and finding a niche. It just takes time.

You know, it doesn't hurt that the weather is beautiful, so unlike last spring. And it helps tremendously that my husband supports me fully in whatever I choose to do, including spending his hard-earned money on a cleaning lady. And knowing that in about 5 months tops I should have self-reliant transportation in the form of a car is comforting. But whatever -- I'm not ready yet to talk myself out of growing up!